The quality of life

There's something beautiful about the quality of life I enjoy everyday. I don't have to worry about finding a place to live or hunting an animal for my meal each day. I don't have to use these primal instincts that were passed down from far ancestors.

So, I'm free to enjoy the world. I've got all this free time to do what I love. Everyday we make thousands of choices. We act everyday. What a beautiful thing: the ability to act. The desire, the instinct, to act.

Rather than sitting here on my butt all day like a stereotypical American girl, I can choose to act. Choose to write, choose to help someone, choose to make a difference in the world, big or small.

What a beautiful quality of life we have- even when we grow up and have to worry about finding and keeping work, providing for a family, raising children right. We still have this beautiful God-given gift. This gift of holding our destinies in our hands. What if I wanted to switch schools? What if I decided to never marry? What if I ran off to Vegas and became a stripper? What if you did?

I never would, but that's just it. I could if I wanted to. I can be as big or as small in this world as I choose to be. And so can you.

When someone, myself included, says they are unhappy because of something in their life, it's absolutely a lie. Happiness is a choice, I've discovered. Our quality of life is a choice. We can live a boring, miserable, meaningless life if we want to. Or we can choose each day to focus on the beauty around us and live a happy life full of light and change.

I will admit that somedays I choose to let my life be dull and meaningless; I sometimes choose to have a bad day or be in a foul mood. Sometimes you just need it. But I've always got this fire burning within me, this happiness and satisfaction with myself. Why else would I write this blog that is read by no one? Because I'm just happy with myself and where I am.

I can't wait to see where I go because I know I will be big. Things just work out for me because I believe they will. Because I recognize my role in the opportunities I come upon.

Circles

My life seems like a series of circles that I run time and time again. Everywhere I go seems like ground I've already covered. Like, love, lost. Like, love, lost. Time and time again. Everytime I find someone new, I think he's gonna be different. I know in my heart, he is the same, but it helps to hope. I'm in the like cycle yet again. Someone amazing appearing into my life. Maybe only for a short time. Maybe it will lead somewhere.

Either way, it's the same story again. If only you knew. If only you could realize I like everything about you. When I see that grin, nothing is wanting. But it's the same story again because it's my same nature, my same impulse to develop feelings for any guy who seems admirable. Or is it? One of these days it's going to be different. One of these days I'm going to get it right.

But it should be sooner now, now that I've learned the biggest lesson of my life: I'm ok.
I'm ok without him, I'm ok with my flaws, I'm ok with where I'm going, I'm ok with where I've been; I'm ok. I'm even ok if nothing comes of these ridiculous feelings or if my plans are turned upside down. I'm ok with life's unexplainable twists and turns. I'm even ok with heartache now and then. I'm ok because I know who I am, and I know where I want to end up. I know I'm doing what needs to be done to get there. I know I'm ok.