Insignificance.

The aftershock has set in, and I've lost all motivation. I don't feel like eating, drinking or getting dressed. I am trying really hard to convince myself to go for the jog I know I need this morning, but I'm not sure it's going to work. If I don't jog, hopefully I can convince myself to take a shower.
I feel awful. My eyes are swollen and I feel dizzy. Everytime I stand up, I almost fall over. And don't even get me started on homework. I can't find the motivation to do any of it.
Ugh... still ugh. I'm trying to figure out why I'm a target for crap like this. Maybe every girl is a target for heartache. Except for whores. They probably never get heartbroken because they use their bodies to keep guys around. I'm not like that. Why do I get punished for not being like that? Why are there negative consequences for being a good person?
Yet, I still can't help feeling like this is my fault. Like maybe there's something I could have done different or better. Who knows.
I got to bed at 1:30 a.m. and barely slept. I woke up real early this morning and didn't have the motivation to go back to sleep. I certainly couldn't handle laying there with just my thoughts, so I got up. Now I'm tired but going back to bed frightens me. It's been so long since I felt this way, and I told myself it would never happen again, yet here it is.
And I know there are so many other people in the world going through this right now, and it makes me feel even more insignificant. I am just one tiny star in one tiny galaxy in a sky filled with trillions of galaxies. And so are you. I guess we are all insignificant.